Locanda Means Inn or Guesthouse

In Italian, but if you see this restaurant down the road from Capitol Hill, along Pennsylvania Ave., keep driving until you reach your next waystation. There's little reason to stop, unless you happen to be a lobbyist with an expense account or professional food reviewer. With entrees in the mid to high $20s range, you might expect ample portions - ala typical chain fare - or delightfully amusing bouquets of flavor. At Locanda, neither is in store for the dinner-goer. The lamb steak was beaten to a thin pulp and splayed across the plate; butchering meat is an unpleasant process, but surely my entree should not appear on the plate, forlorn and forsaken. The presentation only served to accentuate the small beaten thinness of the cut. As i ate the steak - admittedly, a fairly marinated piece of meat - all I could think to myself was why oh why wasn't this pummeled meat nicely breaded into a fine schnitzel? The pennette - that is pasta with spicy tomato sauce - neatly matched the tuscan-colored abstract wall paintings, but did not pair nearly so well with the gullet. Order a nice glass of milk if you plan on trying out some seemingly mild-mannered artisanal pastas.

Perhaps the bonus-sized asparagus salad - topped with feta cheese - was intended to sate my appetite before I took delivery of the main course. Ostensibly an appetizer, this salad arrived in front of me, heaped much like slop for the trough. Confusingly, I was unable to tell how the asparagus was intended to be served. Chilled and crisp? Warm and boiled? Or just mush? The salad was a mix of all. Alas the delicate asparagus tips were too few and far between. I did not take to this particular app, but surely some baby pandas at the National Zoo could have been fooled into thinking they were dining on a plate of pre-chewed bamboo, if they had had the pleasure of dining at Locanda in my stead.

This Italian restaurant near the Eastern Market Metro station nearly redeemed itself with dessert. Gelato flavors here truly distinguished themselves, tasting nothing like poorly done cousins that begin to resemble ice cream or sorbet. But, more flavors (than the four that were available) are surely needed. The panna cotta is another delightful dessert, creamy, light and sweet all at once. There's no hint of graininess that can sometimes appear in such milk-/cream- based recipes.

Rating: 3/10
In Short: definitely a nice evening spot to take a date for wine and dessert, but for pasta you are better off ordering from the Pizza... err Pasta Hut
Website: http://www.locandadc.com/index.htm
Location: 633 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, Washington DC, 20003